About Offerings
The Cornucopia

I want to write about desire


I wanted to write about desire, but I ended up writing about death. Did you know that as the body dies, it goes into ketosis? A state of being so extreme that it's been rebranded as a normal way of eating. 

Our inner beings are so crushed, our wildness is separated, our fire dull and muted.  We are literally hungry. Starving. Drugs are advertised everywhere, all the time. Promising to make the noise go away. Make you not hungry. Because a full woman is so scary, too big, too much.


I am all about body, a friend said to me recently. Body is fucking brilliant. It remembers, for better or worse. Body is also so weird, funky, smelly, and constantly dying. Fear and anger hide in our tissues and bones. Passed in tiny little specs in our mothers' wombs, into ours.

But it remembers pleasure too. 


Like, how come my hands feel like they were made to knead, both dough and flesh? 

If deep pleasure looks like being satisfiable. I want to live a satisfied life. Feel it all, feel good about going. Whenever that is. Because the only thing I know to be so certain is that we are all going to die. 

My body is a body. Earth suit. She gets hungry, cranky and doesn't know the time. From this very moment, it’s decaying and sagging and growing and aging. She is obsessed with making sure she is fed enough because, for so long, I left her hungry. 

Smaller and smaller, thinner and thinner. 

 

Most of us feel shame to even feel joy, let alone pleasure. I was not taught that desire can be a big, beautiful meal to be devoured, good enough to eat. Heavenly feasts, breathing in the sweet smell of a wet pussy, nipples to suckle, warm skin. A grazing board, gooey cheese, crunchy spring vegetables, and sweet jams. Do our mouths feel the difference? 

A full woman. Oh how I desire to be her and fuck her. She wraps me up in her strong arms, holding the most tender parts of me. So I can be my most fierce.  


Whole wild self, I love you. I love how you shake, how you bend, how you creek. My big belly as I laugh, when I shake with pleasure or deep pain. Isn’t that what I have been saying this whole time? 

You are so much stronger than I originally thought. Leaning into my edges, because the more I learn about dying the more I learn about living. The more I ache, the more I gush. The more alive, the more electric. Whole body, how I desire you.

 


The Cornucopia is a living archive + resource by Montana Kimel of The Pleasure State
© The Pleasure State, 2026. All rights reserved.
Brand Identity & Website by Studio Whyte-Gray.